Okay, a positive thought that is very INFJ-like: I think it's just wonderful the way we can understand all sides of a problem. I know sometimes people assume we're indecisive or weak because we are not opinionated (except about the things we ARE, then... ho boy!), but I really, really think our conciliatory, empathetic attitude is invaluable. The would would be a better place with more people like that. It's true. :)
This probably shouldn't go here, but do you know why it's that ENTPSs (as I am) and INFJs apparently get so well along? My best mate is INFJ, but we've started to drift away from each other, and while I somehow don't care (we've been friends for 3-4 years), I'd like it not to happen. Any ideas? ._.''
I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting an ENTP :( but I know lots of people here have loved ones who are ENTPs so I’m sure they will love to help.
INFJ Confessions 425) We're just friends, but I took you somewhere. A place that was was supposed to be for us. And when I found out you took someone else there, it really hurt. I hate being so sentimental.
I took the test again and now it seems I'm halfway between INFJ and INFP. When I see some of these posts, I start to think I'm slowly drifting away from being an INFJ because I set expectations to relate to every single confession. Is this normal? I'm aware I should just be confident with myself, but I've had trouble with confidence ever since I could remember; I even keep to myself among some of my closest, most trustworthy friends and I feel like I can't get over that barrier. -I
I have some INFP friends who feel identified with things in this blog :) I guess those are INF things, I also have friends who are INTJ and feel identified with some things here as well… INxJ things? ;) But of course many things are just way off! I don’t feel identified with all the posts, so don’t worry if you don’t either :) seen the polls? We’re all quite different :D
Ultimately, no matter if you’re any given MBTI type, you’re still unique :) and so, not all things will apply and that’s okay! Some things will ring true to you, some things will be absolute nonsense, what matters here is to know that no matter how odd you feel, you’re not alone and you’re perfect the way you are!
There is a blog for INFP confessions, from which I stole the idea thanks to a friend showing me it, you can visit it here
And also, I got linked this video the other day :) it might be very interesting to you! INFJ vs INFP
Don’t feel bad about not being too confident, you’ll get there when you’re ready :) just know that whatever type you are, and whichever way you feel, it is beautiful and you are not wrong in any way xxx
About the last post: I guess this is a curse of many infjs, to feel like we don't deserve to feel because we simply feel too much. Just remember no matter what you feel, it's valid because you feel it, and yu deserve to feel that way-- once you see all the sides, first. I'm currently getting help for this, and now I don't feel so guilty or wrong constantly for having emotion :)
I have always been proud and felt strong to be an INFJ. We are the personality of psychologists, of psychiatrists, of doctors, of /helpers/. Being such a rare type, with such a consistently fantastic legacy made me feel so empowered. Seeing so many confessions on here that are bitter, self-deprecating, and just generally depressing confuses me, and makes me wish I could spread around the wealth of my joy at being able to call myself an INFJ.
Personally, I love this; I specifically love how you are bringing all of these good people together to share thoughts and feelings. But the majority of the posts seem to be negative. INFJs should be learning that they are capable of great things. I fear this page is only serving to teach them that being depressed is, not only normal, but it's expected- It's just who we are, and there's nothing we can do to change it. Which is far from true, especially for an INFJ.
Personally, the worst kind of pain I experienced is when while growing up, I felt I didn’t have the right to be sad, that I was wrong to be sad. When I read the confessions, and I hope it is true for others as well, I don’t think “Oh God, I am meant to be miserable all my life”, on the contrary I simply feel not alone in any particular sadness, and that is enough to make it go away in the large part. The knowledge it is okay to be upset, and that the particular way I’m feeling upset is not ‘wrong’ is very healing for me.
I just think that as INFJs we don’t let other people know when we’re sad. Yes, we’re there for everyone when they need someone to listen to them, we tell them feeling whatever they are feeling is ok, we also tell them these things will pass… and we know all these things are true, but we don’t have anyone (and even if we do, we rarely allow anyone) to say that to us.
As INFJs we solve our problems, we don’t wallow unless there is truly no way out (or the way out is selfish and would hurt others), so when we come on here and talk, it’s because we don’t have any other outlet for our emotions… when we are happy, those emotions are spilled all over the place, shared with all the people we love and it’s like a shower of rainbows, when we are sad, we sit in the dark, thinking we are indeed alone.
I don’t think all of us INFJs are sad and much less thinking we should be sad, I just think we found a way to let the sadness out.
Personally, I was in a really bad place when I started this blog, and I can’t thank the people who come here to share their feelings enough. I can’t express how much this simple blog which I truly thought would be me whining nonsensically and have only two friends of mine as followers, has helped me.
I hope everyone knows that in the amazing, intricate web of feelings that are all around us, there is joy, beauty and happiness, and that we as INFJs are incredibly lucky because I truly have never met any other person who feels these good things as deeply as we do.
I don’t even know where I was going with this, just, I guess I hope people aren’t feeling sadder from this page and thank you for all the trust in sharing anything you feel, whether is good or bad and I hope it helps others as much as it has helped me?
I have a response for Confession #424. You ARE smart. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I too, struggled immensely in school. I have a genetic illness that causes learning disabilities and I was told that it's pretty much a miracle that I have a college degree considering the circumstances. Keep in mind-- the SATs are just a test to prove you can take a test. I am HORRIBLE at tests, but I am competent and making engaging conversation and proving my worth otherwise. Don't let it get you down!
INFJ Confessions 424) I struggle with being INFJ for all the obvious reasons, but also because I hate the fact that there is no test that can accurately reflect our strengths. I half-way struggle in school, usually getting grades A-C. but every time I flunk an important test like the SAT or an aptitude test, I just want to scream at someone, "i'm INFJ, so it doesnt matter!" i'm tired of people telling me that i'm not smart just because my skills dont appear on paper. I can save lives, and that is a wisdom of its own.
INFJ Confessions 423) Whenever I’m at work,school,watching TV, etc. I tend to just retrospect about the points in my life that just make me feel bitter. I know it’s in the past and I sometimes never want to remember that bad memory, but it’s just that I can’t stop thinking about it. I just need help on what to do if I tend to retrospect/think too much about the future and other things.
INFJ Confessions 419) I often get obsessed with books. I have found that the only "safe" category is Romance Novels, because I can easily predict the plot. Reading a novel and getting emotionally invested in so many characters with the chance of not having a smooth ride (love triangles, death, cheating, etc.) terrifies me.
Sorry for butting in again - in response to the last ask, I agree completely. Along with my anxiety disorder I also have dysthymia, a type of chronic depression I've been dealing with close to 2 years now. INFJs may be more attracted to depression and anxiety. I think it's a mix between sensitivity and just how we look at things.
Never feel sorry for commenting! :) <3 all of the feels! :D
Also just saw midale's question about anxiety: I suffer from an anxiety disorder (a mix between general and social) and mild depression, too. I'm not sure if we are more genetically susceptible to anxiety, but one thing I've learned is that people with anxiety are highly sensitive, both to their feelings and the people around them. As INFJs are so sensitive-and, as a rare personality type, we're also different-it makes total sense to me.
Not a confession, but I just wanted to say how grateful I am for this blog. Being the rarest personality type is difficult, but it's so amazing to have a community full of like-minded people who just get it. Thank you.
:) We all deserve a massive awkward but truly heartfelt hug <3
INFJ Confessions 418) I hate how I am always realizing how superficial and unaware others are. When I do I, unwillingly , start subconsciously bashing them for their blindness. Then as soon as I do that, I feel guilty for judging, and I feel like a bad person for thinking I know more. it's a vicious cycle.
Ok lovely ones, we have a most charming ENFP who is in love with an INFJ. They don’t know if this is mutual yet, but they would like to know if there is a way to approach things as to not scare their loved one off :)
Not manipulation! Just nice rules for courting an INFJ :) Let’s help this charming visitor!
EDIT, webmistress’ response: (I thought I could use the answer function, heh!) Be truthful, let me in and show me love and I’m there forever :) don’t play games, don’t play hard to get - we don’t do that so it just feels like rejection, also, we don’t play hard to get, so if we are unresponsive we are either scared, annoyed or not interested, try a different approach. Let her care about you, even if she’s suffocating at times, and make sure that if she comes to you, you’re there, otherwise it hurts very much and she’ll put walls up. That’s all I can think of :) Good luck! x
Hi, I submitted a confession a little while ago that ended with "I want to feel special." I'm not sure if it went through, because I was writing it on my phone and it didn't give me confirmation that it went through. Could you please check to see if you received it? Thanks!
It didn’t go through! :( could you submit again please? :) xx
P.S: The people I haven’t sent info about sites for work, I’m very sorry, I’ve been having a bit of real life work overload this week! D: I will reply very soon xx
P.P.S: :) we have upped the frequency of posts to 12 a day! :D
INFJ Confessions 417) Sometimes I become extremely frustrated with myself for being an INFJ, although I know that it is completely out of my control. I hate that I am able to feel all of these emotions so fully. Some days it is just too much.
INFJ Confessions 410) All INFJs should understand that happiness is a fleeting emotion. No one is happy forever. It is merely one positive emotion in a sea of negative ones. I learned recently to stop striving for happiness- instead, I needed to pursue a life of fulfillment. This way, whether I experience happiness or sadness, I will still feel whole and strong. I believe in the end, when you're on your death bed, having lived a fulfilling life will mean more to an INFJ than struggling to maintain a happy one.
To contribute to the discussion: As an INFJ, me, and my friend who's borderline INFJ/ENFJ, suffer terribly with anxiety in social situations. It's because the world inside our heads is so different than actuality. That's not a bad thing, because the world of our heads is an open, genuine place, and we value honesty above all. As an introvert, it's easy to suffer in silence — make sure you don't, for your own sake.
I'd also like to respond to the most recent confession, 408. I was just recently diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and social phobia. Neither of which are incapacitating or very severe, but they both affect my daily life and I've been dealing with them since childhood. I wonder if INFJs may be predisposed to those kinds of disorders!
INFJ Confessions 409) INFJs make decisions based upon feelings and our thoughts are erratic at best. From personal experience I have learned that philosophy is a great way to temper the negative aspects of our personality. We are in-depth thinkers. We are also naturally inquisitive, with an insatiable hunger for knowledge and understanding. I recommend studying philosophy to any INFJs who might be struggling. It could change your life.
In response to what was just posted, #408, I'm an INFJ and I have been diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder. Even though it hasn't been classified as 'social' anxiety, mine is quite generalized and often affects my social life. I feel like it often gets in the way. I feel like I socialize differently than others do and I seem to have a lot of 'quirks' when it comes to socializing. I'm not quite sure how I could describe this, but I am always very secluded when it comes to social situations.
INFJ Confessions 408) I am an INFJ with (diagnosed and incapacitating) social anxiety disorder. You see my problem there, right? I always feel so guilty because I just have no clue how to open up to people or get close to them, and yet many of my goals in life basically stem from wanting to have a positive impact on people's lives and being fascinated by them. In addition to all the bad things I get from social phobia, I feel guilty when I can't offer nice people anything but fear and anxiety. Anyone else like me? :S
INFJ Confessions 407) I've always identified as an INFJ. Now, I'm becoming this...outgoing, flirty, party animal. I don't know if it's because of the way I was raised, that I suppressed this side, or the fact that I was abused made me look at myself in a completely different light, losing my inhibitions. I still am thoughtful, kind and a humanitarian...I just also really want to get drunk, have one night stands and forget everything.
INFJ Confessions 405) Sometimes when I write long, opinionated blog posts, they never get posted. By the time I finish them, I've come to talk myself out of posting it because I now understand several different arguments to my opinion. It's not that I've flip-flopped--I still hold my own opinion--but I don't want to start the arguments.
INFJ Confessions 402) I know that in some MBTI profiles, I'm described as being sarcastic. But, I never want it to be a part of my character, so I don't use it. To me, it's rude and often unnecessarily used by others. One person even called sarcasm "the devil's humor." I don't know about anyone else, but I can only recall one time when I, or any other person in my life, was being sarcastic for good and friendly fun. Most of the time, it was used to berate and hurt me and other people. I despise sarcasm.
INFJ Confessions 401) It's not that I can't laugh at myself or take a joke. It's just in my nature to take people and things very seriously. I confess: SOMETIMES, I CAN BE VERY GULLIBLE. But, I would NEVER admit that to anyone; I must keep calm... and look like I know you aren't serious when you're being sarcastic. (LMBO)
1. I care. A lot. About basically everything. I can hide it, mask it, wall it, laugh about it, but I care. And I want you to be okay.
2. I actually want to know your problems. I want to understand. And I want to help. If you don’t let me help, I feel helpless, because I usually know that something is wrong. So instead of letting me quietly freak out, please tell me.
3. I won’t push. Come when you need me- I’m always here. And I’ll come when I need you. But I won’t push.
4. Just because I have a lot of emotions doesn’t mean I always use them. I can feel lots of things but when it comes down to it, I want logic and facts, and I want them now.
5. Don’t ever tell me I’m not as weird as I think I am. If you actually believe that, I probably haven’t told you much- I AM weird. Not THAT weird, but weird. This phrase is NOT motivational to me.
6. There’s always more. Always.
7. If I’m in my zone, I’m in my zone. please do not pull me out of said zone. If I don’t want to interact, don’t think you can make me. I need to watch and know what’s happening. In familiar settings, this may take an instant. Otherwise, be prepared to watch me go find a tree.
8. If you ask, I will give you a real answer. If you trust me, I’ll probably trust you. I don’t want to leave you hanging, I just want to know I won’t fall and hit my head. :P
9. Be careful playing games with me. I can have fun but there are always lines in the sand. Know them and avoid them, and we can beat each other. :)
10. Know that I desperately want people to understand. If you want to understand I’ll help you, and if you don’t, I won’t. There’s a lot in my head. And I’m usually suspicious of people if I sense something is “off.” I’m constantly gathering information in all sorts of ways. Just know that I’m probably trying to figure you out, that I care, and that I’m careful. The end.